TRANSFORMERS: THE LAST KNIGHT

Reviewed by GREG KING Director: Michael Bay Stars: Mark Wahlberg, Anthony Hopkins, Laura Haddock, Josh Duhamel, Isabela Moner, Glenn Morshower, John Turturro, Tony Hale, Mitch Pileggi, Santiago Cabrera, Jim Galligan, Stanley Tucci, voices of Peter Cullen, Frank Welker, Erik Aadahl, John Goodman, Steve Buscemi, Ken Watanabe, Jim Carter, Omar Sy, Reno Wilson, John DiMaggio, Jess Harnell, Gemma Chan. Michael Bay makes more robot porn for 13-year-old boys. Transformers: The Last Knight is the fifth instalment in Michael Bay’s series of big budget special effects Continue reading

13 HOURS

Reviewed by GREG KING Director: Michael Bay Stars: John Krasinski, James Badge Dale, David Costabile, Matt Letscher, Pablo Schreiber, David Denman, Max Martini, Dominic Fumusa, Alexia Barlier, Freddie Stroma. Michael Bay does Black Hawk Down with this testosterone fuelled piece of war porn based on a true story. The film is set in Libya in 2012 and depicts the situation when heavily armed Islamic militants attacked the American diplomatic compound and a covert CIA annex in the city of Benghazi. Four Americans, including ambassador Christopher Stevens, were killed in Continue reading

TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES

Reviewed by GREG KING Director: Jonathan Liebesman Stars: Megan Fox, Will Arnett, William Fichtner, Jeremy Howard, Pete Ploszek, Noel Fisher, Alan Rotchon, Tohoru Masamune, Whoopi Goldberg, Minae Noji, voices of Johnny Knoxville, Tony Shalhoub. Michael Bay returns to the toy box again, but this time he has put aside his Transformer action figures and dug out his long discarded Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle toys. Named after four prominent Renaissance painters, the turtles are vigilante mutants who live in the sewers of New York City, and were trained in the martial arts by Continue reading

TRANSFORMERS: DARK OF THE MOON

Reviewed by GREG KING Director: Michael Bay Stars: Shia La Beouf, Patrick Dempsey, John Malkovich, John Turturro, Josh Duhamel, Frances McDormand, Kevin Dunn, Julie White, Ken Jeong, Rosie Huntington-Whiteley, voices of Leonard Nimoy, Petter Cullen, Hugo Weaving. This third film in the incredibly lucrative Transformers series is everything that you would expect from a Michael Bay film – a bombastic, overblown, noisy, empty spectacle full of superb special effects and massive destruction on a massive scale. Someone – maybe executive producer Steven Spielberg – Continue reading

THE AMITYVILLE HORROR

Reviewed by GREG KING Director: Andrew Douglas Stars: Ryan Reynolds, Melissa George, Philip Baker Hall, Chloe Grace Moretz. Michael Bay seems intent on remaking some of the classic American horror films of the past thirty years. First there was his treatment of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, which turned the story into a cliched teenage slasher thriller. And now he reworks The Amityville Horror, and again turns it into a run-of-the-mill haunted house story, with all of the attendant cliches and none of the surprises. First filmed in 1979, The Amityville Horror Continue reading